By Holland Cooke
BLOCK ISLAND, RI — In these dog days of Summer when everyone seems to be on vacation, phones can be slow. Try this, which lit up the lines when I was guest-hosting “The Jim Bohannon Show,” and has never failed any of the hosts I coach.
Here’s the script:
IMAGINE THIS: YOU’RE DOWNTOWN, AT [name the big hotel].
YOU STEP INTO THE ELEVATOR AT THE LOBBY LEVEL. YOU PRESS 7.
THE ELEVATOR STOPS AT 2. THE DOORS OPEN.
IN STEP FOUR TALL MEN. BLACK SUITS. CREW CUTS. EARPIECES.
AND BEHIND THEM, THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES.
HE’S MOVING FROM A HOLDING AREA ON THE 2ND FLOOR, TO HIS SPEECH IN THE BALLROOM ON THE 10TH FLOOR. YOU’RE GETTING OUT ON THE 7TH FLOOR.
THE PRESIDENT SMILES AND REACHES OUT TO SHAKE YOUR HAND.
WHAT WOULD YOU ASK…OR TELL…PRESIDENT TRUMP…IF YOU HAD HIS UNDIVIDED ATTENTION FOR THE TIME IT TAKES THE ELEVATOR TO GET FROM FLOOR TWO TO FLOOR SEVEN?
[phone number, nice-N-slow]
Prep: Gather these SFX:
- Elevator doors open/close.
- That “ding” when you’re passing floors.You’ll actually hear the caller start talking faster!
- Scuffle (Secret Service wrestling the caller to the floor after over-the-line remark)
Holland Cooke (HollandCooke.com) is a media consultant working at the intersection of broadcasting and the Internet. He is the author of “Holland Cooke: Greatest Hits” an instant download available exclusively from Talkers Books. Click the ad banner on this page. And he hosts “The Big Picture” TV show on RT America. Read HC’s Monday Memo each week at Talkers.com, and follow him on Twitter @HollandCooke